So I was at the gym today (shocking), and while in the sauna, something bothered me.
There were these two jock-looking guys who were talking about another guy apparently upstairs at the weights who, as they put it, could only put up 50 lbs. They used the terms, "weak, puss, sissy" and the phrase, "my sister can lift that much". It was interesting to me because today, we talked about masculinity and how if you are not macho, strong, muscle-bulging, and such, you will be called names just as the ones listed above. Compared to a girl, even. It's insulting, right? This poor guy wasn't even in the same room as these other two "dudes", who were insulting his weight training abilities.
Maybe they were reacting in a way that was natural to them. Comparing muscles and other sizes with each other to prove who is more macho and tough than the other. I mean, it's one thing to comment on someone else's ability, or inability, to do something you can do, but to build off what your buddy said? That's seriously like stretching to be above your own friend whom you have engaged in this silly conversation with in the first place.
Could this be because our society has always seen men who workout as buff, muscular, hulk-like bodybuilders? We see athletes who have muscular builds, but we don't know how much they can lift. It just means they work out and play sports. I didn't know there was an unwritten rule as to how much weight you had to lift to be considered a manly man. Hell, maybe he just wanted to tone up and look good! Either way, I don't think anyone wants to be like anyone else. Everyone just wants their own life. Here, we have a classic case of men comparing things that really don't need to be of their concern.
I was alone with them in sauna and had my headphones on, so I'm assuming they only had that little conversation because they thought I wasn't listening to them. I came to this rationale because when I did pipe up and say, "I can only lift the 50 lbs bells too", they kind of smiled and said, "well, everyone starts off somewhere and has their own goals, we didn't mean to offend you."
I wasn't sure at this point whether or not they saw me as a threat to their masculinity or that they honestly felt sincere about insulting my intelligence with their babble. Either way, it just goes to show you that if people don't know what one person may consider a joke about manliness could be offensive to another, how will they ever learn? I mean, really? Really?
Point: Silence is acceptance. Just because someone has a different point of view doesn't mean they know what is and is not offensive. Speak up! Don't hide!
Showing posts with label masculinity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label masculinity. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Homo-Themes. They like themselves!
Gay Hollywood, or is it, Hollywood is gay?
Well, through my years of being a strong minded and opinionated person, I have always noticed that Hollywood doesn't seem to make movies about everyday gay life. I'm offended!! Where's the hot Brad Pitt/Tom Cruise make-out scenes from the sexually-charged Interview with the Vampire?? Every other Vampire movies have always had some sort of sex appeal to them, but it's always (in Hollywood's record) heterosexual sex. Where are all the gays?! My concern isn't for the rich conservative people who only want their children to watch heterosexual content; they already have their minds and lives made up for themselves. My concern is for the next generation of kids who are homosexual that do not have any role models or celebrity to look up to. Even the movies that do have homosexual characters in them have some sort of eerie theme or tragedy that occur, such as death. Why?
As a child/teenager, there were very few role models which I felt had the characteristics I wanted to model myself after. While little Tommy next door grew up with G.I. Joe and Rambo, I was busy looking for a smart, sophisticated, clean-cut, All-American, gay man who was successful and a natural leader. That was me and that was what I wanted to see. Doesn't seem like a lot to a 10 year old at the time, but apparently I was mistaken. The choices I was limited to were Nathan Lane's ultra-flamboyant, cross-dressing character from The Birdcage, a gay man with AIDS who eventually dies such as in Philadelphia, a transgendered man who is raped and murdered like in Boys don't Cry, better yet, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and To Wong Foo, which star talented drag queens who go through many different adventures and conquest. Thank God for Ellen Degeneres and her star power in her TV Show, The Ellen Degeneres Show, or I wouldn't have much to hope for.
Well, through my years of being a strong minded and opinionated person, I have always noticed that Hollywood doesn't seem to make movies about everyday gay life. I'm offended!! Where's the hot Brad Pitt/Tom Cruise make-out scenes from the sexually-charged Interview with the Vampire?? Every other Vampire movies have always had some sort of sex appeal to them, but it's always (in Hollywood's record) heterosexual sex. Where are all the gays?! My concern isn't for the rich conservative people who only want their children to watch heterosexual content; they already have their minds and lives made up for themselves. My concern is for the next generation of kids who are homosexual that do not have any role models or celebrity to look up to. Even the movies that do have homosexual characters in them have some sort of eerie theme or tragedy that occur, such as death. Why?
I decided to start a blog about gay themes in movies, which don't necessarily aim to make a character gay shine, or directly have a gay character, and demonstrate many of the stereotypes society has about the gay community. I have always seen popular Hollywood movies and seen many of their characters as feminine or masculine. This could be just because of how I'm wired internally, or just my own way of finding similarities with myself in the characters on screen, but isn't that what pop culture is about?
...
...
As a child/teenager, there were very few role models which I felt had the characteristics I wanted to model myself after. While little Tommy next door grew up with G.I. Joe and Rambo, I was busy looking for a smart, sophisticated, clean-cut, All-American, gay man who was successful and a natural leader. That was me and that was what I wanted to see. Doesn't seem like a lot to a 10 year old at the time, but apparently I was mistaken. The choices I was limited to were Nathan Lane's ultra-flamboyant, cross-dressing character from The Birdcage, a gay man with AIDS who eventually dies such as in Philadelphia, a transgendered man who is raped and murdered like in Boys don't Cry, better yet, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and To Wong Foo, which star talented drag queens who go through many different adventures and conquest. Thank God for Ellen Degeneres and her star power in her TV Show, The Ellen Degeneres Show, or I wouldn't have much to hope for.
After many years, I realized none of the characters portrayed as homosexual in Hollywood were anything like me, and it made me venture out into the world of independent and foreign films. Today, I find myself only enjoying Independent films featuring gay and lesbian content as opposed to the ones created by major studios. The realness of the depictions is far more on point to what a real gay person is like when compared to those in Hollywood films. I will take a look into what I mean specifically by looking at a little old movie called "The Birdcage". It is not really a "BIG HOLLYWOOD" movie, but it was the first one I saw in theaters that had a gay character.
The movie, staring Robin Williams and Nathan Lane, was hilarious! It simply was the greatest movie at that time I had I ever seen!! I fell in love with the performance played by Nathan Lane as the obvious "wife" to Robin Williams! I did, because it was sheer comedy. However, I have never seen such a feminine gay man in my real life, and being a gay man, I have seen many! My partner, NJ, is the obvious yang to my yin, and has a flamboyant appeal, yet he doesn't act in such an extreme manner. I remember watching this movie in the theater with my mother at the age of 12, without exactly knowing what we were watching. My mother wasn't very comfortable with homosexuality at that time, so when she realized what the movie was about, she began to cringe at the sight of Nathan Lane; especially in the scenes he is dressed in drag. To me, this was no bother, in fact I laughed through the entire movie. Other people in the cinema, granted the year was 1996, did not seem to join me in my loud cackling. No matter, I didn't mind a "Reyes, party of one", moment.
There is a scene in the movie where Williams and Lane are sitting on a bench, in their normal posture, which will stick in my head forever. Williams, the masculine side of the relationship, is sitting as I would be comfortable. Lane, however, is sitting as my mother would sit. To me, this was a cute sentiment of a modern gay couple, but the jeers in the audience was enough to tell me this is not a way to be. Now, I didn't care, but I would have loved to have seen more of this in movies, and in media in general. Unfortunately, I did frown upon the scene where Williams is teetering on the straight/gay boundary line with his former lover played by Christine Baranski. Were the studio producers not satisfied with the lack of heterosexual content from the masculine character Armand? Really? I mean...Really?
In the next few blog posts, I will attempt to look into these things, which have plagued my good cinemas and kept the gay youth of America from finding role models in media just like the other kids on the playground. It's what's fair and right! Kids don't have the ability to find and watch Independent films unless they go through great lengths to find them. Why can't gay cinema play on the big screen? It would help more people become familiar and accepting of the subject.
As I wrap up this entry, think about the gay movies you have seen, that involve a non-stereotypical theme and the characters do not die or become depressed!! Any insight would be wonderfully fantastic!!
-Reyes
There is a scene in the movie where Williams and Lane are sitting on a bench, in their normal posture, which will stick in my head forever. Williams, the masculine side of the relationship, is sitting as I would be comfortable. Lane, however, is sitting as my mother would sit. To me, this was a cute sentiment of a modern gay couple, but the jeers in the audience was enough to tell me this is not a way to be. Now, I didn't care, but I would have loved to have seen more of this in movies, and in media in general. Unfortunately, I did frown upon the scene where Williams is teetering on the straight/gay boundary line with his former lover played by Christine Baranski. Were the studio producers not satisfied with the lack of heterosexual content from the masculine character Armand? Really? I mean...Really?
In the next few blog posts, I will attempt to look into these things, which have plagued my good cinemas and kept the gay youth of America from finding role models in media just like the other kids on the playground. It's what's fair and right! Kids don't have the ability to find and watch Independent films unless they go through great lengths to find them. Why can't gay cinema play on the big screen? It would help more people become familiar and accepting of the subject.
As I wrap up this entry, think about the gay movies you have seen, that involve a non-stereotypical theme and the characters do not die or become depressed!! Any insight would be wonderfully fantastic!!
-Reyes
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